I woke up this morning with Willy Wonka lyrics on my mind. "I write my thoughts down in purple ink and think positive." I have to say that it sounds like a pretty good plan.
You've heard the story of the two wolves? The ones that live inside of us, battling out the good and evil? As the story goes, the determining factor is which wolf you feed.
Then there's the small differentiation surrounding the way Mormons view Christ's death, choosing to focus on the Resurrection more than the Crucifixion.
Throw into this recipe the fact that "lack of control" has left me feeling a bit off balance for the last year. And you get this:
Today I choose to think positive. I choose to feed the right wolf. But I have a bit of a problem. When I glance inwardly to check the reserves, there is a huge, heaping pile of food for the Big Bad Wolf. And only a small pile of the good. Some days I drown in bad memories of this day, specific and overwhelming and right at the surface. While I do think there is some merit to airing them out now and then, today I want to make a pile of good food so big that I can't even see the other pile.
Can you help me?
I am looking for your positive experiences that happened in the hours or days after Tyler died. The tender mercies. The times you laughed. The times you cried, but in a good way. Please help me relive those today. Through your descriptive inagery, take me there and let me stay awhile.
Write your thoughts down - in metaphorically purple ink - so I can think positive.
3 comments:
The day of the funeral I wanted to wear as much purple as I could, but I couldn't find my purple pocket square, so I decided I would go without, but when I was at Walmart grabbing energy drinks, I found a solitary pack of purple handkerchiefs on the rack by my checkstand. I guess I needed just that one more piece of purple.
On producers preview of Into the Woods, Michelle was going through the lobby of the Empress struggling a little with Ryder in her arms and Tyler dragging her saying something like " hurry, let's go see dad!" I had never met her, but that little girl was the topic of every story I heard from Skye's mouth during the rehearsal process so I knew exactly who she was. He would show off the socks she picked out for him, how she would sneak up on him at an unexpected time and you could tell she was something very special. Her excitement for seeing him was the cutest thing ever! What a lucky girl to be surrounded by so many who love her so completely and deeply on this side of the veil. Many hearts, minds and prayer are with you!
When we sang outside the Davis house the first time, I can't remember if it was planned or not, but before I walked up, I just knew we needed to sing and that Michelle really needed to hear Families Can Be Together Forever. I was so emotional that I couldn't even voice the idea, but someone else initiated it and I was so grateful. I know it seems like the standard song we should sing, but it felt so much more than that on that night. I heard later that Michelle used to sing that to Tyler and it was a special song between them. That really touched me.
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