Some things are leveling out. Being on the medication doesn't feel as alien anymore. I am getting used to the calmer focus, the quieter mind, the more linear processes. I now know what it is like to teach medicated. To go to church medicated. To attend a social event medicated. If you're interested to know more, set aside a whole afternoon and ask me. I'll happily word vomit all over you about it.
But even as I acclimate, there are still lots of firsts.
Tonight I browsed Facebook for the first time medicated. Oh, sure, I've checked it in the last nine days. But this time I had a few minutes to actually read some posts. Some comment threads. Click some articles.
And I am baffled.
I read comment threads. All the comments. In order.
I read an article I was interested in, clicked back, and continued scrolling.
It's like that awesome day when you come out of the eye doctor wearing your once-again-accurate prescription contacts and the trees seem to have so many more leaves than you ever knew.
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This is also the first time I have written medicated. And it is just like I feared.
I tilt my head as if somehow willing the thoughts to flow from brain to fingers to screen as they generally so effortlessly do.
But I hear nothing but quiet.
