Where the inside of my mind leaks onto the screen.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Wiggin' Out

Things I've learned {so far} from my Joseph wig:

- If I ever envied women with lots of hair, I no longer do.  After combing out tangles, blow drying forever and feeling completely useless with a curling iron, I'll take my blow-dried-and-curled-in-under-ten-minutes coif any day.

- Maybe there's a reason why I'm the only girl in our family:

And then, of course, let the shameless self-promotion begin:

It really is going to be an incredible show in a gorgeous venue.  I get to dance my heart out in no less than 6 costumes, and I've also been the music director, too.  There are only 5 performances, so put it on your calendar now.  {If you blink, it will be July, and you will have missed it!}

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Electric Slide

My body hurts.  Today I have danced a total of 4 1/2 hours of the Electric Slide.  Thankfully, it was a 2 hour block followed by an hour and a half break followed by a 2 1/2 hour block.  Thankfully, my students LOVED it, especially the fact that I dressed up and brought them accessories, too.  My reward came in the form of students who walked away saying, "That was the best part of field day," students who danced on the playground or at the "otter pop" station, teachers who stopped to watch me as they walked by, and many comments regarding my endless supply of energy.

My favorite moment was probably when an 8th grade student asked me, "Mrs. Fife... why are you wearing a headband?"  I paused a moment to give him a quizzical look.  "A headband, JD? Really?"  I asked as I proceeded to point out my purple hoop earrings, florescent sweatbands, blue eyeshadow, side ponytail, etc.

I also loved it when the classroom teachers joined in the fun.  I had my first slip-up of the year (funny that it was on the last day) and accidentally called Mrs. Casdorph "mom" in front of her class.  But she was wearing her belt weird, and I had to call her out on it!

And - while I really do love my elementary kids - I had the MOST fun with the group of 7th and 8th graders who chose dancing over the other offered field day activities.  They quickly mastered the Electric Slide, so I taught them a bit of The Hustle, and then they mastered some of the choreography I've learned at Joseph rehearsals.  Those are the kids in the pictures.

I really do hope we've started a new Navigator Pointe tradition, and I'm already looking forward to dressing up in a cowgirl get-up for next year.  I think some "Boot Scootin' Boogie" is definitely in order.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Play Ball

 While I’ve been busy at Joseph rehearsals, Kirk has been busy coaching both of the older boys’ baseball teams.  

 They’ve been playing over at the Magna Recreation Center, which – by the way – has gorgeous mountain views for one who is easily distracted.

 I made it to 15 minutes of one of Alex’s games (and then had to hurry to rehearsal).  That was enough for me to truly appreciate the challenge Kirk has taken on in coaching these 4 and 5 year olds.

Adam’s games worked better with my schedule, and I made it to 1 ½.  The second game I attended was called when thunder and lightning started.  Of course, then I had to explain to Adam that thunder can’t hurt him.  “If I yelled really loud, would it hurt your arm?” I asked him.  He processed for a minute, shrugged, and apparently conquered his fear of thunder.

But keeping track of Dylan on the sidelines is just as big of a job as coaching...

I don't think Kirk will ever coach 2 teams simultaneously again, but he says he didn't mind coaching the older team.  We'll see if Coach Dad shows up for another season.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


On Mother's Day we received the horrible news that one of Kirk's cousins had been found in her bed, dead, after an apparent drug overdose.  Kirk is not particularly close with his extended family, so I did not know her well.  But the loss of any life, especially one so close to mine in age, certainly gives me reason to pause and reflect.

She left behind a little girl, and of course, we discussed the added sadness of having died on Mother's Day.  When someone commented, "I can't believe she would do that on Mother's Day," I took the opportunity to comment on her agency, explaining that I believe she gave up her free agency when she chose drugs.  Even though she had been through rehab more than once, she could never quite regain that agency she'd lost.  No mother would choose to leave her child motherless on any day - holiday or not.  And I firmly believe that on that day, in that moment, the choice was no longer hers to make.

I also believe that our loving Heavenly Father understands the point at which she gave up her agency, and I believe she will be judged only for the decisions she made up to that point.  Not to say there aren't consequences; her death is evidence of that.  But despite the choices she made, I know she has been received into the spirit world and that the pain she must have suffered on earth which led her to those choices has finally been removed.

Many family members have posted "RIP" on Facebook, and I've thought a lot about those simple three words.  "Rest in peace."  There are many left behind who will miss her terribly and who will undoubtably need time to heal.  But Feather's soul has been delivered to her Heavenly Father, and I truly pray that she may rest in peace at last.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Dreams Explained

I vaguely remember waking up at midnight last night to tell Kirk that one of my recurring dreams which usually ends badly (with me dying) didn't.  I'm not one for omens, but I'll tell you this... it sure felt good to not die.

I can't clearly remember the circumstances of the standard version of the dream, I just know the ending involves me hanging from the rail of one of those roller-coasters where the seats are suspended beneath the track.  The overall path of the track resembles Lagoon's Colossus, and I am somehow riding it just by holding on.

Interestingly, this isn't scary to me.  But as I ride along the left side of the track, a roller-coaster car comes speeding toward me.  It isn't sharing my track, but I can tell its track is coming dangerously close to mine.  I switch to the right side of the track, further from the oncoming car.  I maneuver my body as effectively as possible to avoid collision.  I watch, panic building, as the car quickly approaches.  I can tell that despite my efforts, the car will not miss me.  I am acutely aware that I am about to die.  And I do.

Having had this dream before and knowing so well the ultimate ending, I found myself last night, again suspended from the roller-coaster track.  Only this time, I wasn't alone.  While I held on to the track with my right arm, I held Dylan tightly against my left side.  Before I could even see the oncoming car, my heart began to race.

I consciously knew that this was the part where I normally switched to the right side of the track, trying to give the car more space.  But with one arm around Dylan, I couldn't switch sides.  And with one arm on the track, I couldn't switch Dylan to the safer side.  I felt ill, knowing the way the dream always ends.

I watched.  I waited.  I was terrified, sick, and tense, and there was nothing I could do to protect my baby.  The car came into my sight.  Although it was racing toward us, it took forever to finally come within feet of us.  I felt my body brace for the worst, and then...

It missed us.

My relief, at least as intense as my fear, woke me up.

I whispered a few unintelligible words to Kirk about how a train that usually kills me didn't this time.  When he tried to make order out of my nonsense, I told him to ask me about it in the morning, and I'd probably be able to explain it better.

I suppose I could wonder at what the dream means, and maybe some of you will have ideas.  But  I think I'll just hug my little red-head a little tighter and thank my Heavenly Father that he is mine.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A New Punchline

Kirk just connected his iPod to the computer and, after commenting that he listens to the musicals on his iPod a lot, challenged me to guess his most played song.  A few musicals ran through my mind, but I couldn't nail it down to a specific song.  I copped out and went with his favorite artist, Garth Brooks.  While we both doubt the validity of the most played song "Prologue" (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat), we got a good laugh that the first non-musical or movie-musical song on the list, "The River" (Garth Brooks) didn't appear until #65.

An often quoted joke around here is, "Do you wanna know how I know you're gay?"  I know the punchline, "Because you listen to Coldplay," only from hearing Kirk and my bro-in-law Skye deliver it.

Backstage at Oklahoma! performances, I mentioned jokingly to the guys once that my husband is 40% gay.  They laughed as I explained that what I really meant was that he's comfortable enough with who he is to be comfortable with everyone else the way they are, and that sometimes that results in funny scenarios in which he ends up kissing my male friends, rubbing the inner thigh of his mission companions, or grabbing the behinds of unsuspecting males who were just going for a standard, three-pats-on-the-back, I'm-not-gay hug.

Well, the new joke - for me at least - may just be, "Do you wanna know how I know you're gay?"

"Because the top 10 most played songs on your iPod playlist are:

1. Prologue - Joseph
2. Agony - Into the Woods
3. Into the Fire - Scarlet Pimpernel
4. I'm All Alone - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
5. Another Pyramid - Aida
6. Sherry - Jersey Boys
7. Freedom's Child - The Civil War
8. Little Bird, Little Bird - Man of LaMancha
9. The I Love Song - 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
10. There's a Fine, Fine Line - Avenue Q

At least I can take pride in his good taste in musicals!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mother's Day Bonus

I'm breaking my own personal one-post-per-day rule, so be sure to scroll down for pics of my Mother's Day Pedicure...

Though not an official Mother's Day gift to me, this video documents a moment I'll always treasure and had to record just in case it never happens again. As I was practicing some choreography for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Adam said, "Mommy, I want to dance with you!"  I spend the next 20 minutes teaching him choreography from the show and enjoying every minute.  My favorite is when he tries to lift me (and he really thinks he's doing it right).  I also love his little arms on the "Cowboy Skip."

Mother's Day Pedicure

Not to say a real pedicure in a real salon wouldn't have been awesome, but I am more than satisfied by the male nail technicians in my own private backyard salon.

My favorite part was watching them choose from the basket of colors.  OCD Adam chose varying hues of pink, all of which were sparkly.  Who-ever-knows-what-is-going-on-in-that-head Alex chose brown, pink, blood red, blue, and purple.  Adam meticulously painted, using the brush to carefully paint from nail bed to tip, coloring outside of the lines only on the smallest toes.  Alex painted in swirls and x's and back-and-forth motions all the while tenderly holding my toes still.

The end result is ten toes each painted a different color, and a pedicure I can proudly wear as evidence of how much my boys love their mommy!  No expensive salons for me!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tired Eyes

A photograph is a funny thing, capturing a moment and freezing it in time.  Great photography captures the moment in an artistic and interesting way, but despite the skill of the photographer, it simply cannot capture what was not there.

Admittedly, I've taken on a little too much lately, and I am looking forward to life slowing down a bit.  While I have loved learning and performing Oklahoma! and have actually made some great friends in the cast, I'm excited it will be over after only 6 more performances.  I am probably loving Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat even more, but the intense rehearsal schedule and the cross-valley drive to the Draper amphitheater is truly exhausting.

It's no wonder, then, that despite my biggest smiles, the pictures taken recently have betrayed me.  I look at myself, and all I see is tired eyes.  In the candid, everyday photos, this doesn't bother me one bit.  In fact, I like the accurate representation of those moments in which I truly was just tired.

But I am a bit disappointed in myself for not faking it a little better when we recently had our family pictures taken.  I was so excited about our clothes and the location (the Ogden Train Depot), and Jami Stensrud of Life in Moments Photography always does such a great job for us.  But it was a little cold, and the kids were uncooperative and grouchy, and... well, I can just see it in my eyes.

I always have this idea in my head of the perfect family picture being a picture that looks like we are the perfect family.  I guess this time around, I'll just have to be happy with a perfect picture of my imperfect (but boy do I sure love them all) family.

(I am really happy with all these updated headshots, though!)